The world is scratching its head, trying to find an overseas territory to present to Trump, fulfilling his ambition to acquire one during a hypothetical second term. After his failed attempts to buy the Chagos Islands, Greenland, and Pamama, the UN has decided it's time to silence the former president by giving him his own piece of land.

A UN spokesman humorously suggested, "Britain, weren't you having some issues with Northern Ireland? He might like that. Though we’d have to decorate." The search is ongoing, with various options being tossed around like Palau, which Mr. Trump might recognize from a season of Survivor.

The spokesman added, "Honestly, it doesn't matter where. If it’s down to being bought by us or Trump, we’ll actually pay you. Dominican Republic? Grenada? Lesotho, I’m sorry, but you’re landlocked, and he’s obsessed with beachfronts." The plan is simple: Air Force One lands, Trump gets a photo-op with something gold, and everyone's happy.

If no suitable volunteer is found, the UN has a backup plan: make up an imaginary territory and gift it to Trump, a strategy they joke has worked for FIFA in the past.