Under-16s have made it clear that whether they have access to social media or not, they will remain their wonderfully unbearable selves. A new ban intends to remove their access to platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok, but the age group confidently states this won't stop them from being a nuisance to parents, teachers, and innocent bystanders.

Lucy Parry, a 15-year-old, declared, "So we won't be toxic online. Just means we'll have to be twice as toxic in real life. Challenge accepted, old bastards." She humorously added that the teenager on the bus, seemingly immersed in their phone, is just as likely to point out your unfortunate haircut as they are to ignore you.

According to Lucy, they've been content with ruining the lives of celebrities and each other online, but as of next summer, they'll be back on the streets venting their adolescent angst on anyone who crosses their path.

Interestingly, the ban won't affect platforms like Facebook, Threads, or X, as no self-respecting teenager would be caught using them. Meanwhile, Mother Mary Fisher sarcastically praised the policy's wisdom, saying, "Such sensible policy to get children off addictive, dangerous social media and back out there smashing up bus stops where they belong."