YEAH, it’s over between me, Ethan Slater the Munchkin from Wicked, and elfin Ariana. Honestly, it’s a relief. This is what I’ve had to put up with for three years:

The gushing crap: Ariana tends to get emotional, even over small things like changing remote batteries, which she considers an 'unconditional gesture of love.'

Cynthia Erivo coming round: Not your average houseguest, Cynthia would show up for mysterious hand-holding sessions with Ariana, attempting to 'heal the missing chunks of each other.'

The pretentiousness: Prepare to hear about 'processing the space between the notes' and other such deep thoughts. I coped with earbuds.

The therapy-speak: Questions like 'Are you afraid to be emotionally available?' often popped up. Fun fact: 'I left my wife and newborn for you' is not the correct answer.

The frigging tattoos: Ariana loves ink, especially in foreign scripts, leading to amusing mishaps like her album title reading 'joyful chopstick embolism.' At least I won't have to break the news.

Accidentally knocking her over: Ariana's so petite, even the wind from walking past could send her flying, leaving her perched comically on a bookshelf.

Bloody Wicked: With her, everything circled back to Wicked, claiming she and Glinda shared the same pain. I was skeptical until she showed proof of losing a best friend saving magical animals.

The weeping: Emotions are expected in musical theatre, but Ariana took it to another level, shedding tears over dead flowers, rice cake shortages, and even happiness.