The Archbishop of Canterbury is waking up from a hangover that's bad enough to make his dog eye his organs with interest. While manually rearranging his insides, he reflects on what he calls a traumatic week.

Westminster Abbey faced an attempted bomb attack by some bold, albeit misguided, individuals who were promptly arrested. The Archbishop, in his own unique way, condemned the attackers as 'technically brave assailants' at a press conference.

Turning the page to a new bizarre story, he finds that Nigel Farage has allegedly been banned from the BBC's Desert Island Discs because he might upset 'woke' staff. The Archbishop jokes that Farage has only one record, which he's been playing non-stop on Question Time.

In other Farage news, the man himself stirred the pot by suggesting people should be enraged by the police handling of a murder case, leading to riots. Labour's Sarah Jones responded, suggesting the police re-evaluate their anti-racism policies, to which the Archbishop has his own rather blunt opinions.

Meanwhile, in Soho, a group known as The Soho Society is under fire for opposing new bar and restaurant licenses. The Archbishop wonders why on earth they moved to Soho if they dislike its lively character.

And finally, he reads about The Economist's warning against 'Gen Z' socialism, questioning whose prosperity is at stake, certainly not the general public's, he muses with his usual colorful flair.