Speaking at the IPO of his company SpaceX, trillionaire Elon Musk announced that space is the ‘final frontier’ in his ongoing search to find someone who genuinely likes him, after exhausting all known options on Earth.

Musk, who has spent billions trying to get people on his home planet to like him, stated that the successful IPO of SpaceX will unlock vital funds for this intergalactic friendship project.

“All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to like me,” Musk confessed at the IPO in Texas. “I’ve tried everything. I bought a social media platform to find a friend. I even decimated the US Civil Service and gave the project a funny name to appear cool, but nothing worked.

“Then I spent two years developing AI software to build an artificial girlfriend, but even she doesn’t like me. Space is my last remaining option. Statistically, someone out there has to find my jokes funny.”

However, astrophysicists remain skeptical. “The observable universe contains hundreds of billions of galaxies, each with billions of stars and planets, so the probability of life is incredibly high,” astrophysicist Brendan Klein noted.

“But, given what we know about Elon Musk, the chance that one of those life forms would want to hang out with him is vanishingly small.”