In a tale of sports rivalry gone comically wrong, the captain of England’s cricket team, Ben Stokes, and a Saracens rugby player found themselves in a nightclub brawl over a rather peculiar debate: whose sport is more unpopular.

It all kicked off when Stokes, alongside pace bowler Gus Atkinson, boldly claimed that cricket takes the crown for being the least popular and least watched sport in the country. This didn't sit well with the rugby player, who stood up to defend his sport's honor, insisting, 'Bollocks mate, rugby’s way less popular.'

The rugby enthusiast went on to lament, 'I play rugby union, not rugby league. Think one in a hundred people even knows the f**king difference? Not a chance. That’s how shit our sport is.'

Not one to back down, Stokes retorted, 'Oh yeah? At least yours is enough like football people understand it. Even our fans don’t get the rules of cricket. It’s just an excuse for all-day drinking.'

The Saracens player fired back, 'Enough like football? We are f**king football mate! Football where a posh kid picked up the ball and sanitised it for braying arseholes, outcast Northerners and the French. We’re rock-bottom shit!'

And with that, the gloves were off, leading to a comical brawl that, according to the unimpressed witness Nathan Muir, was 'not very good at it.'